Thinking of building an ark

Giant mango-sized spider body count: 3
Semi-giant kiwi-sized spider body count: 3

Even though we have also safely evacuated several genetically modified super-spiders, I am starting to wonder if this death toll has anything to do with the forty days and forty nights of rain we are currently enduring. There are ducks on the street outside our house. I rather suspect they know something we don't, and I would sure rather be in a top-floor apartment right about now!


As you can imagine, this weather is trying even my congenitally sunny disposition.

The past week was one of discovery, however. I now have incontrovertible proof that living on the edge and throwing your three white items of clothing in with a coloured load results in grey. I have discovered that the British aversion to salad dressing (besides "salad cream") extends to the cafeteria at work. I've realized that people smirk when I talk about wearing pants to work because here pants generally refers to underthings. I learned that if you stand within twenty feet of the kerb on an Oxford street on a rainy day, you WILL be splashed from head to toe by a speeding bus, and it WILL stain your clothes. I travelled down to the coast for a conference, and found that though the sea looks invigorating from a hotel window, if you walk along the beach you will still be crying silty tears and finding sand in your ears, nose, toes, and hair three days and three showers later. (My skin? Exfoliated!) I also discovered, while driving back from the conference, that the English are letting the countryside fall into ruin. Just look at this dishevelled heap of old boulders that noone can be bothered to haul away:


Finally, I would like to give a shout-out to Marv, whom circumstances have conspired to keep off the golf course over the past month. I personally suspect a plot by the pro circuit, who, having become aware of his recent intensive training and new ability to harness the power of nature out on the green, feared for their titles. You have an enormous fan club, Marv, and we're hoping to see you feeling better soon!